Still Hurting

Dear Minnow,
        Mommy and daddy aren't giving up hope yet, although hope is really hard to come by these days. Emily Dickinson said that Hope is a thing with feathers, maybe our hope has already flown away but I am doing everything I can to catch it. Today we met with a genetic counselor, unfortunately she couldn't tell us much of anything except that there is only a small chance that you have a chromosomal abnormality (which is a good thing, we don't want you to have one of those) but that they wanted to test anyways. So the doctor put a really long needle through mommy's belly and into her uterus to  take a sample from the placenta. The procedure hurt really badly and mommy may have swore a bit in the process. On Monday we will find out a few preliminary findings, just whether or not you have Trisonomy 13, 18 or 21 (13 and 18 are very very bad and 21 is downs syndrome). We will have to wait another week for to find out about the others. The bad news is that even if you test negative for chromosomal abnormalities you could still have one of over 60 different syndromes, some of which are so horrible baby. For now your Auntie Gina is keeping us company and your Auntie Amanda bought a plane ticket as soon as she heard and is flying down tomorrow night for the weekend. They are amazing friends, I hope you get to meet them. They love you baby. Minnow please get better, mommy and daddy love you so much and just want you to be okay and join us in June. Mommy has never hurt so badly inside, she wonders if she will ever smile again. Please minnow, there are so many people praying for you. I just pray God hears them, he doesn't seem to be hearing me. Please be okay, please come be my baby. Please don't leave me.
                     Love always,
                        Fish