Sunshine

Dear Minnow,
            Hi baby girl. I feel like it has been forever since I last wrote, honestly it feels like it has been forever since I felt like myself too. The sunshine has returned to the south east, it is just wonderful to see spring popping up all around me! I feel like the fog I have been living in since you went away is finally starting to lift. I started a new directing job after school last week. I love being busy again and feeling artistically fulfilled again. Theatre is so healing to the soul minnow and directing gives me a whole new cast of kids to take care of. A woman I met on one of the miscarriage support forums told me that there is a reason God spared me and took you little one, and that I have to ask God for signs as to why. I feel like loosing you has taught me to love deeper and to care more for my students, whenever I teach now I see you in their faces. The only thing that has been tough this past week is dealing with my body image issues. I have been dieting hardcore and hitting the gym when I can and the scale has barely budged! Your daddy, the wonderful man that he is, saw how low my self esteem had gotten and took me shopping last night :-). He spoiled me rotten! I now have three very cute sundresses and a pair of spring wedges. It is amazing how uplifting a new outfit can make you feel! I love you little one with all my heart. Know that no matter what, you are always in my thoughts and in my heart.
                           Love always,
                               Mommy