The Little Things

Dear Minnow,
       Another week has gone by little one. I have decided to try to focus on the good in life, on the little moments each day when I feel happy again. So far it has been harder than I thought. My mind keeps replaying the horrible moments, the look on your daddy's face after the doctor told him you wouldn't make it, waking up from surgery and crying out for you, being asked when we were going to have a baby by someone who didn't know we lost you. I keep reliving them in my mind but my heart needs something to cling to, so I have to start remembering the good in each day, that there is still good in each day. So here are some good things that have happened in the past few days, Sunday was your grandma-ma's birthday so your dad and I had dinner with his family. It felt so good to see everyone, we talked about you in a happy, loving way and it made mommy smile. Your grandma and Aunt Dianne kept refilling my wine glass so mommy got a little tipsy for the first time since before you were conceived. Yesterday was a good day, I had a teacher workday at school, had a meeting with the principal about how I wanted to list my drama classes for next year, then I had breakfast with a few of the other teachers. I went back to the tv studio to work on voting sheets and invitations for the Oscar party I am throwing in my 8th grade class and there sitting on the table was a pot of beautiful red flowers and a card from all of the other teachers saying how sorry they were for our loss. I thought it was very sweet. Then I went to the thrift store across the street and got a brand new pair of Banana Republic jeans and a brand new pleated jean skirt for ridiculously cheap! And the best part? They are both my pre- pregnancy size and fit great! Today I had a drama teacher in-service, it was nice to talk with the other drama teachers and now I am going to cuddle with Wrigley,  and maybe bake a cake (it'll destroy my plan to get back in shape but at least it will make your dad happy). I love you my little minnow.
      Love always,
   Fish