Today I am supposed to hold you in my arms. Today I am supposed to see what color your hair is and if you have your daddy's eyes. Today I am supposed to meet you, but God had a different plan. Today it has been four months, two weeks and one day since we said goodbye. I know it wasn't God's fault, it wasn't anyone's fault, your poor body was just broken from the start. I know you are in a better place now my little one. Loosing you has taught me so much. It taught me to love deeper. It showed me who disappears when things get ugly and who jumps on the first plane to keep me company while I am on bed rest or lies to the nurses just so they can hold my hand during the hardest moments of my life. It brought your daddy and I closer together minnow. Tragedy can either tear a couple apart or it can melt them together like the burn of saudering iron. Loosing you tried my faith in God. I was lost for a while but God never left my side, I see that now. I never thought I would survive loosing you Brennan. There are still times in my darkest hours when hope is hard to find but I know you want me to keep going. Send me hope baby girl. So today is really just another day without you, I am living without my daughter. I will never be the same, a part of me will always be missing but minnow, I would not have given up one moment I spent with you. I love you with all of my heart and I always will. You are my daughter, my first born, my minnow and no one will ever replace you.
Love always,
Your Mommy
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