Dear Minnow,
Your daddy and I chose the name Brennan Esther for you. Esther was a lady from my Church back home who I loved very very much, she died the week before I met your father and I always thought she must have sent him to me since she could no longer take care of me herself, now I pray she will take care of you. I should have checked the meaning of the name Brennan before we chose it, although now the meaning seems all too fitting. Brennan means "Tears of God" or "Sorrow". I cannot put into words the amount of sorrow I feel. I can't imagine why this would be part of God's plan for us but I have no doubt that even he is crying for you baby girl. He finally heard my cry for help, he gave me the information I needed and the strength I need to be merciful. The level II ultrasound showed that your body is very broken little one, it is just not strong enough to hold such your beautiful spirit. Your not going to make it outside of mommy's belly minnow, the doctors don't even think your little heart will beat very much longer inside mommy's belly. Your daddy and I love you too much to let you suffer anymore minnow. Wednesday you are going to go from mommy's belly back to God's hands. Please don't be scared my little minnow, I know it will be a big change but nothing can hurt you there and you'll have a new, perfect body to live in. You will always be with me Brennan, I will carry you in my heart everyday until I can hold you in my arms. Mommy is so scared to say goodbye to you, but I know you will be in a better place. I know this is what mercy means. Please don't worry about your mama minnow, I will do my best to be strong for you. I love you with all my heart and so does daddy. Remember that you were wanted baby girl and you were loved and prayed for more than any baby in the world.You will always be our daughter and always be in our thoughts. I will always be your mommy. I love you my little minnow. I will love you forever and always.
Love,
Mommy
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