Tomorrow

Dear Minnow,
         I am happy to say that your daddy and I are now all unpacked and settled in to our new home in Maryland. We spent labor day weekend working our butts off putting everything away and cleaning while your grandma and your auntie MK were up at the lodge. Living with your grandma and little aunt (12 years old) is going to be a bit of  a challenge but your grandma is doing her student teaching this year and can really use the extra help. I have to admit it was so nice to not be alone while your daddy was in Saint Louis on business last week. His new job has him traveling at least two days a week, usually over night, thankfully it is just one year, then he will have the outside rep experience he needs to move up and hopefully we will be able to buy a house with the money we have saved from renting a house with your grandma this year :-). We have both decided that we love our new neighborhood and there are so many family friendly activities nearby! My new mission is to make some mommy friends, the only other young moms I know are my friends from the support group in VA and they are amazing! But one can never have too many friends :-). Tomorrow I have my 24 week check up and glucose test with Resa our midwife. I love that she remembers your name baby girl, she doesn't say your first baby, or your last pregnancy, she says when you had Brennan. We really did luck out finding her. I told her that I will cross my legs and keep your little sister inside if another doctor is on duty when I go into labor, I want her hands to be the first my babies feel when they come into this world. I am trying to gain confidence in this pregnancy minnow, I really am trying. Being pregnant again after loosing a baby is like having just gotten out of a really bad relationship, I have to learn to trust again. Your auntie Addie, the doula, said that I have to find a way to trust myself, Maura and God again. She said that it has to happen before I will be ready to give birth, you need confidence to give birth. By the time I went into labor with you Brennan all of my confidence was gone, I knew you were gone, I guess that is why I let them put me under, I just wasn't strong enough. I miss you so much my little minnow. I am trying to be strong and trying not to feel guilty about enjoying this pregnancy. I know you want your daddy and I to be happy. I sat for almost two hours the other night and watched the guppy kicking my belly. I can see when she kicks me now :-) It is the most amazing thing. I am in awe of it. I love you baby girl, I love you and your sister so much.
                     Love,
                        Fish

ps. See how big mommy's belly was a couple of weeks ago? (22 weeks) I'll post a current pic soon