Healing Moments

Dear Minnow,
        I know it has been a while since my last post but I promise you I have written a thousand in my head during the last week. Life has been busy but it has also been good. Remember how I told you about my new student helper who shares your name? I was so scared at first, how could I ever bond with a Brennan that wasn't MY Brennan, one that wasn't you little one? I have always thought of my students as my kids and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to connect with this one because of everything that name means to me. I thought just hearing your name everyday minnow would make me even more sad about loosing you, but something I never expected happened. It ended up being such a healing experience. God knew I needed a Brennan in my life, and since I couldn't have you here with me little one he sent me another. He is everything I dreamed you'd be and honestly, teaching him and sharing my love of theatre with him makes me feel like I am teaching you. I can't help but laugh at how bizarre and mysterious God's ways are, but I finally feel the healing and comfort that I have been waiting for these long months since my world turned upside down. I never thought I would find healing here. Your daddy and I are trying for another baby minnow. I had a dream last night that you had a sister. She was chubby and had one tooth, you were there too little one but you were older and almost floating behind her smiling as she cooed and giggled. I feel ready to start another pregnancy journey. I pray we do not have to wait long to begin. I love you my little minnow and I miss you everyday. Good things are happening baby girl, I feel like life is returning to me.
                 Love always and forever,
                  Fish