Sleepless Nights

Dear Minnow,
         Hi my little one. I know it has been so long since I last wrote but I promise you are always on my mind especially lately. October 15th was pregnancy and infant loss awareness day, I light a candle for you and sat in the living room with your little sister in my lap and watched it flicker and glow. The poor guppy has been sick all week it's just a cold but I still can't help but worry. She has been up most of the night each night this week, it's currently 4:26 a.m and after sneezing and coughing herself awake and a temperature check we are down in the living room. Little miss guppy has a hard time getting back to sleep if she fully wakes up in the middle of the night and between the thermometer and a very worried Wrigley sneaking into the nursery to lick her face it is safe to say the guppy is wide awake. I have found there is only one way to get her back to sleep in cases like this, let her play or watch Sesame Street until she starts to rub her eyes then redo her bedtime ritual (diaper change, nurse, rocking and snuggling). If anyone else kept me up until 4 in the morning I would be furious, yet here I sit in awe of my little rainbow standing in front of me "talking" to Elmo. I never knew I could feel so much love. She is walking, can you believe it? Where has the time gone my minnow? Life is good little one, I am truly blessed. I love you my sweet Brennan.
                                           Love always,
                                           Fish