Dear Minnow,
It was so nice to have a busy weekend and end of the week for a change! I have been going a wee bit stir crazy lately so it is nice that things are finally starting to pick up. Wednesday I spent sometime with one of your father's friends from high school and her daughter which was a lot of fun. It was great to just hang out and talk and get the low down on what baby things actually work and what isn't worth spending money on. It's so hard to make decisions on baby stuff based on the parenting websites alone, especially when they all have such contrasting opinions on the same items! What happened to the good old days when all you needed was diapers, a crib and a few chew toys? Anyways, Thursday I taught my first full Shakespeare class up at the charter school (the first two were just mini workshops). I had twelve enthusiastic high schoolers, it is going to be a fun class although none of them have ever read a Shakespeare play so that presents a little bit of a challenge lol. I love the charter school we are partnering with though, not only is the building absolutely gorgeous (it is completely art deco and very old), the whole energy of the staff and students is so welcoming and positive! Friday night your dad decided to take me out for dinner and a movie. We hadn't had a night out in months since we have been saving for your sister's arrival and of course towards buying a house. We went to one of your dad's favorite Mexican restaurants (side note, my belly has become so big that we had to check to see if it would fit between the table and the booth seat....it was awkward) and then to see the movie Anonymous. The movie was great but really made me miss listening to your Auntie Molly debate Shakespeare conspiracies after a few too many drinks at Theatre School parties back in college :-). Molls is a total Shakespeare buff so I can't wait to skype with her sometime soon and pick her brain on what she thought about the movie.Yesterday I went to a yoga class at the baby consignment store down the street, I absolutely love the store and they offer a bunch of free classes for parents each month. It's the same place your dad and I took the cloth diapering 101 class a while back, I think I might take their baby wearing 101 class this Saturday (the classes are just a great way to meet people and way less confusing than the online tutorials). Plus their FREE which is one of mommy's favorite words. I will say that yoga with a baby in your belly is hard though. I used to take yoga classes two to three times a week back in Chicago on top of having to do sun salutations as warm ups in most of my movement and acting classes. Don't get me wrong, just because I like yoga does not in any way shape or form mean I'm any good at it. I have always been the one desperately trying not to wipe out the back row during balancing poses and the only thing I lack more than grace is flexibility, but I've always loved the way it makes my body feel and settles my mind for a while. I did yoga once a week or so while I was pregnant with you minnow but you were so little one that I never had much of a belly even towards the end. This time around I would pop in the prenatal dvd once in a blue moon but usually spent most of the time cursing the skinny little bitches who only seemed to gain weight in their perfectly round belly bumps and could not only still bring their heads to their toes but still hold every pose for what seemed like hours! Needless to say towards the end of the second trimester that dvd made friends with the trash can. Sunday's class was great though! It was a yoga for motherhood class so it was a class full of real women, taught by a real mom.:-). I had to laugh though, I'm pretty sure I was the only one in the third trimester there. Your sister is gonna be big, I certainly wouldn't call her a guppy anymore she feel more like a ten pound bass. Part way through the class she decided she was over the whole yoga thing and lodged her head into my rib cage so I couldn't even sit up straight without feeling her hit my ribs. She has settle back into her usual horizontal position now, laying right across my belly button. Alright I have rambled on for far too long little one. I'd better get a move on and finish my Halloween costume before I have to bring MK to her friends house to trick or treat. I love you Brennan and miss you everyday. Please keep watch over your little sister, just 7 more weeks, please keep her safe till then.
Love always,
Mommy
Monday, October 31, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Mothers And Daughters
Dear Minnow,
It's been a rough week baby girl, my mother, your meme spent most of the week in the ICU. I guess I haven't told you much about your meme. She was super mom when I was little, how she managed to balance working, raising three kids on a seriously tight budget and still be the "the cool mom" that all of my friends loved is beyond me. Every fall we would make homemade grape jelly from the wild grapes that grew in the woods behind our house, we had a weekly bon fire at the beach during the summer, she hosted our annual kids only new years eve party and every St. Patrick's day she would make green eggs and ham for us and all of our friends. Then when I was 13 she had surgery to replace a plate in her back and had a seizure that caused a bleed in her spinal cord that left her paralyzed on one side and severely epileptic. She had a really bad seizure the other day and well, their not sure about what exactly happened next but they couldn't wake her the next morning so they took her to the ICU. It's been a few days now and she is finally out of the ICU and stable, she is having trouble hearing but her liver and kidney function are doing better. Sometimes it's really hard not to have my mother around. It's hard enough living 8 hours away but not even being able to call her or ask her for advice really sucks sometimes. I felt the same way when I lost you, I needed my mommy. All I wanted was her to hug me and tell me everything was going to be okay because I knew she could at least imagine the pain I was feeling, the same pain she'd feel if she lost me or your Auntie but I couldn't burden my mother with what I was feeling, I had to put on a strong face for her and lie and say I was fine while I was breaking inside. I can't tell her how worried I am that I'll loose your little sister too, I can't tell her how almost loosing her this week shook my confidence as a mother I mean even if I can't rely on her for advice or help, I don't know how I would mother without my mother. Okay enough of me venting, sorry for being so emotional today little one. Here is something happier, your cousin Kara, well your dad's cousin Kara is a photography major and she offered to take some maternity photos for me, she is using some of them for a project she is doing on body image. They came out great! I miss you baby girl. Sorry again for the rant. I love you minnow.
Love always,
Fish
It's been a rough week baby girl, my mother, your meme spent most of the week in the ICU. I guess I haven't told you much about your meme. She was super mom when I was little, how she managed to balance working, raising three kids on a seriously tight budget and still be the "the cool mom" that all of my friends loved is beyond me. Every fall we would make homemade grape jelly from the wild grapes that grew in the woods behind our house, we had a weekly bon fire at the beach during the summer, she hosted our annual kids only new years eve party and every St. Patrick's day she would make green eggs and ham for us and all of our friends. Then when I was 13 she had surgery to replace a plate in her back and had a seizure that caused a bleed in her spinal cord that left her paralyzed on one side and severely epileptic. She had a really bad seizure the other day and well, their not sure about what exactly happened next but they couldn't wake her the next morning so they took her to the ICU. It's been a few days now and she is finally out of the ICU and stable, she is having trouble hearing but her liver and kidney function are doing better. Sometimes it's really hard not to have my mother around. It's hard enough living 8 hours away but not even being able to call her or ask her for advice really sucks sometimes. I felt the same way when I lost you, I needed my mommy. All I wanted was her to hug me and tell me everything was going to be okay because I knew she could at least imagine the pain I was feeling, the same pain she'd feel if she lost me or your Auntie but I couldn't burden my mother with what I was feeling, I had to put on a strong face for her and lie and say I was fine while I was breaking inside. I can't tell her how worried I am that I'll loose your little sister too, I can't tell her how almost loosing her this week shook my confidence as a mother I mean even if I can't rely on her for advice or help, I don't know how I would mother without my mother. Okay enough of me venting, sorry for being so emotional today little one. Here is something happier, your cousin Kara, well your dad's cousin Kara is a photography major and she offered to take some maternity photos for me, she is using some of them for a project she is doing on body image. They came out great! I miss you baby girl. Sorry again for the rant. I love you minnow.
Love always,
Fish
 |
| 30 weeks with Guppy |
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Time On My Hands
Dear Minnow,
Mommy has waay too much time on her hands these days. Your daddy keeps reminding me that my most important job right now is to grow your little sister, which certainly is my first priority, but you know me minnow I need an artistic outlet. This is the longest I have gone without directing or rehearsing for a production in almost 8 years! I know it's only been a whopping two, almost three months since my last directing project closed but I am honestly going stir crazy! I love the theatre I am currently working for but my new role has me concentrating more on creating and fostering community partnerships and running outreach programs which I truly enjoy but a part of me seriously misses directing. I have to be honest little one, I also miss teaching everyday. I miss the repetition of getting up each morning, watching the sun rise as I drive to school, shooting the breeze with Greg and Bob before getting the TV studio up and running for the kids. I miss my crazy, horribly behaved 8th graders and my 7th graders who were always so sweet and creative. I know if I had stayed at the middle school this year with that horrible principal who referred my to pregnancy with you as my "sickness" I would have spent the few months worrying that I would let my students down or get fired if I lost this baby too. I guess going crazy from boredom out weighs going crazy with worry, besides I really like it here in Maryland. So what exactly have I been doing with all of this pent up artistic energy you might ask? I've been pouring it all into making the cutest darn nursery I could imagine.
You certainly have one thrifty mama :-). I'm thinking of making a mosaic of a starfish to hang above the changing table, I'm still not sure if it'll work but I'm going to head over to the craft store in the morning and check it out. I miss you little one. The nursery I had in my head for you was so completely different than this one. Yours was already painted drowsy lavender, it was this soft lilac color that looked blue if you put blue accessories near it and purple if you added yellows and whites. I picked out the color when we moved in to the old house before I was pregnant with you. Your cousin Tori was going to paint you a mural based on a picture I had found of a pirate ship in a beautiful sunset of warm colors with a mermaid beneath the waves. It's strange to say but I just knew you weren't a pink girly girl :-). You were my minnow, my little fighter. Had you lived I just know you would have been a tomboy like I was as a kid, out climbing trees and getting leaves caught in your pigtails. Maura Grace is different though, she feels different and even when I was trying to convince myself that she was a boy, her name had already come to me and for some reason loud and clear so did the color pink lol. You were a girl after your mother's heart, I have a funny feeling Maura will be daddy's little princess :-). I love you both more than words can say minnow. Please watch over your little sister and send her to us safe in December. Just 9 more weeks. I love you Brennan.
Love,
Fish
Mommy has waay too much time on her hands these days. Your daddy keeps reminding me that my most important job right now is to grow your little sister, which certainly is my first priority, but you know me minnow I need an artistic outlet. This is the longest I have gone without directing or rehearsing for a production in almost 8 years! I know it's only been a whopping two, almost three months since my last directing project closed but I am honestly going stir crazy! I love the theatre I am currently working for but my new role has me concentrating more on creating and fostering community partnerships and running outreach programs which I truly enjoy but a part of me seriously misses directing. I have to be honest little one, I also miss teaching everyday. I miss the repetition of getting up each morning, watching the sun rise as I drive to school, shooting the breeze with Greg and Bob before getting the TV studio up and running for the kids. I miss my crazy, horribly behaved 8th graders and my 7th graders who were always so sweet and creative. I know if I had stayed at the middle school this year with that horrible principal who referred my to pregnancy with you as my "sickness" I would have spent the few months worrying that I would let my students down or get fired if I lost this baby too. I guess going crazy from boredom out weighs going crazy with worry, besides I really like it here in Maryland. So what exactly have I been doing with all of this pent up artistic energy you might ask? I've been pouring it all into making the cutest darn nursery I could imagine.
 |
| Glider was a good will find, the mirror is a hand me down I revamped, the quilt is from a consignment shop in RI and the lamp was only $19.99! |
 |
| This bureau was sitting in your grandma's basement so Nic and I sanded and painted it, the bouncy chair and changing pad are from the consignment sale |
 |
| The crib and the lamp are the only new things we bought new and the crib better be worth all of the hassle from babies r us lol |
 | |
| I turned the mobile I made into a sun catcher instead |
Love,
Fish
 |
| 29 weeks with Guppy |
Friday, October 7, 2011
And The Battle Rages On....
Dear Minnow,
Have I mentioned how much I hate Babies R'Us? Earlier this week we got a call saying that your sister's crib had come in. I was scared, and anxious, and excited, and well scared to go pick it up but your daddy and I decided to go pick it up right away. Well, of course it was Babies R'Us and they can't possibly make anything easy (I'm rolling my eyes baby girl). We waited for half an hour and when they finally rolled out our crib the box was soaking wet, covered in dirt and ripped all down the side!! We could literally see the wood of the crib hanging out! The same not so nice sales woman offered to order us a new one and take an additional 20% off for all of the trouble, which sounded pretty great to your daddy and I so I told her that would be nice and went to sit in the car and let your daddy handle the paperwork. A few minutes later he came out with paper in his hand saying that the sales woman would not infact give us the 20% off until the crib actually came in.....seeing as though we had already fully paid for the crib we still have yet to receive this sounded a bit fishy. So I went back in to find out what was going on, needless to say she was not happy to see me. Your daddy decided to cower in the car rather than come in with me, he thought it would be funnier to post on facebook that I was being arrested at Babies R'Us lol don't worry I was not actually arrested in fact I didn't even raise my voice to the incompetent sales woman. Turns out she never intended to give us our 20% back and didn't have the authority to do so, it took her manager an hour to finally find a way to credit our debit card the 20% and to reorder the crib she had ordered wrong. He was very apologetic and yet our bank has yet to receive said 20% back!!! I am so ready to just get our crib and never set foot in that store again!! We got a call a little while ago saying the new crib is in......I will believe it when I see it.
On another note, I am finding that the 3rd trimester comes with a whole new set of worries. Your little sister has become much more active in the past few days, which means mommy freaks out when the guppy decides to take a nap for a an hour or two. I am so grateful to be pregnant again little one, I truly truly am but I have to admit that I am also tired. My body is so tired. I have been pregnant for over a year now, my body carries the weight I gained with you in addition to all the weight I have gained with your sister growing inside of me, even in the two months between loosing you and getting pregnant with your sister and her twin my body was still not my own it was trying to heal. I am in awe of pregnancy, I know that if this was a normal 9 month pregnancy and not a 14 month pregnancy I would love being pregnant. I love watching my belly grow and feeling your little sister move, in all honesty I think the constant worry I feel is what is getting me down lately. It is just so hard for me to picture this ending with a healthy, living baby in my arms. I just need to trust in God, He has a plan. He got me through loosing you and each day I live without you, I know no matter what He will get me through the days ahead. I love you little one. Please keep your sister safe.
Love always,
Mommy
Have I mentioned how much I hate Babies R'Us? Earlier this week we got a call saying that your sister's crib had come in. I was scared, and anxious, and excited, and well scared to go pick it up but your daddy and I decided to go pick it up right away. Well, of course it was Babies R'Us and they can't possibly make anything easy (I'm rolling my eyes baby girl). We waited for half an hour and when they finally rolled out our crib the box was soaking wet, covered in dirt and ripped all down the side!! We could literally see the wood of the crib hanging out! The same not so nice sales woman offered to order us a new one and take an additional 20% off for all of the trouble, which sounded pretty great to your daddy and I so I told her that would be nice and went to sit in the car and let your daddy handle the paperwork. A few minutes later he came out with paper in his hand saying that the sales woman would not infact give us the 20% off until the crib actually came in.....seeing as though we had already fully paid for the crib we still have yet to receive this sounded a bit fishy. So I went back in to find out what was going on, needless to say she was not happy to see me. Your daddy decided to cower in the car rather than come in with me, he thought it would be funnier to post on facebook that I was being arrested at Babies R'Us lol don't worry I was not actually arrested in fact I didn't even raise my voice to the incompetent sales woman. Turns out she never intended to give us our 20% back and didn't have the authority to do so, it took her manager an hour to finally find a way to credit our debit card the 20% and to reorder the crib she had ordered wrong. He was very apologetic and yet our bank has yet to receive said 20% back!!! I am so ready to just get our crib and never set foot in that store again!! We got a call a little while ago saying the new crib is in......I will believe it when I see it.
On another note, I am finding that the 3rd trimester comes with a whole new set of worries. Your little sister has become much more active in the past few days, which means mommy freaks out when the guppy decides to take a nap for a an hour or two. I am so grateful to be pregnant again little one, I truly truly am but I have to admit that I am also tired. My body is so tired. I have been pregnant for over a year now, my body carries the weight I gained with you in addition to all the weight I have gained with your sister growing inside of me, even in the two months between loosing you and getting pregnant with your sister and her twin my body was still not my own it was trying to heal. I am in awe of pregnancy, I know that if this was a normal 9 month pregnancy and not a 14 month pregnancy I would love being pregnant. I love watching my belly grow and feeling your little sister move, in all honesty I think the constant worry I feel is what is getting me down lately. It is just so hard for me to picture this ending with a healthy, living baby in my arms. I just need to trust in God, He has a plan. He got me through loosing you and each day I live without you, I know no matter what He will get me through the days ahead. I love you little one. Please keep your sister safe.
Love always,
Mommy
 |
| 28 weeks with Guppy |
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)